Thursday, July 7, 2011

on thoughts not necessarily redemptive

i am quite aware that these first posts are not quite consistent with the title of my blog but there are certain thoughts and experiences that must be shared, or rather, confessed. with that said i must come clean about something: as of late ive gotten into killing animals. i guess "gotten into" isnt the correct phrase. i have been killing animals out of necessity, not for sport. the thought of me killing a deer for sport just kind of makes me sad. i love eating deer meat and i dont care if other people are into it, but i just dont think its in me to do the killing.

but yeah, because jani and i live in a little secluded forest in the middle of the city we experience all sorts of unwelcome visitors. over a month ago we walked out of our house to surprise a skunk just 6 ft in front of us by jani's car. my friend then hooked me up with some fly poison that when mixed with a little milk causes most small varmints to drop dead right beside this stinky, blue milk. the next morning i put the dead skunk in a black bag and out with the rest of the trash for trash day.

the next creature i killed was a squirrel. that sounds awful i know, but this was a seriously demented squirrel. ever since the weather had started to warm up it would frequent our house, stand on the end of a branch, raise its tail straight up into the air and make the craziest, most menacing noises ive ever heard come out of a squirrel's mouth. it would usually wait to go through these acts of insanity until jani was out lounging by herself on our patio causing her to run inside for fear of getting attacked by this manic woodland creature. when this happened a few weeks ago, i remembered the slingshot my friend kumarsing had made for me during my stay in india and i thought i might as well try using it. i dug it out of storage, grabbed a few rocks outside the other entrance, ran back to the patio and took aim. i missed the first two shots, and miraculously the third one connected. time seemed to slow down for a few microseconds, and the squirrel dropped into a bunch of brush. all was still.

to be fair, i dont even know if i killed it for sure. we were never able to find a body but we have not had another incident with the demented squirrel since. this situation has caused me to begin keeping my slingshot and some stones in the closet beside our patio entrance at all times. to be honest the whole experience made me feel rather manly. i think i even grew a few more chest hairs through the whole ordeal.

those have been the only experiences that i have had thus far pertaining to the injury of animals. we had a groundhog that lived under our driveway that i had set a live trap out for but we havent seen it since i peed down its hole. why pee down the hole? well, i read some story online and i figured id go ahead and try it. actually, the hole was too awkward of an angle for me to pee down so i actually peed in a cup and threw it at the hole.

unfortunately, last night we were startled by a mother skunk and 2 or 3 small ones hanging out on our drive. i wont go too far into what i intend to do about it, but tomorrow is trash day...

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